Tomorrow?

My father worked in Bolivia for two years after World War II. He had been trained as a specialist in soils and went there to help Bolivians figure out how to use their soil to grow better crops. He taught them to irrigate, test the soil, try experiments and so forth. They learned a lot and appreciated his effort. Indeed, he made a real difference.

I visited him and my mother for two months one of the summers. While the Bolivian faces seemed to light up when they discovered some new way to do things, what struck me most was the frustration my Dad felt. Most of the Bolivians he worked with found it too easy to agree to do something, but to postpone it until tomorrow: "mañana" they would say. And when the next day rolled around, they would be enthusiastic and proclaim, "Oh, by all means, we will do it mañana. And so it went, day after day, with my Dad digging the little trenches and dams to divert the water while they largely watched.

Something similar happens now. It is easy to ignore things that will not have consequences until mañana. And mañana seems a long ways off.

Yet, what we do today that can make a difference. Taking the first step can be work; it can take serious effort. Yet this step can make a difference for us and for those we love. It is part of keeping ourselves open to what the world has to offer.

Doing something that is difficult can actually be pleasurable. It is why marathon runners keep going and going. They feel better because the brain releases an internal reward. This internal reward mechanism is vastly better than trying to get that reward by taking drugs, smoking, eating more deserts, taking advantage of others – whatever. It also makes a better tomorrow.

Making A Difference

Everyone wants to make a difference. We want to know that others value what we do.  We want to be liked.  So we try to be nice to others and show them we can be a trusted friend who can make a difference in their lives.

But too often something goes wrong.  We get blamed for something we didn't do or didn't mean to do.  After all, what we intend to do is who we are. And we believe others should be able to figure this out.  When they don't and the problem continues, the easiest course of action is to move away and stick with other friends who agree that we were not treated well.

This happens often and to everyone, and with the same outcome: We subdivide into groups who think and behave as we do.  But this is rarely helpful.  Holding a grudge has no lasting benefit, and when we narrow our lives, we reduce our chance to make new friends.  We miss out on being part of all that is going on around us.  We miss out on new ideas, new thoughts, new opinions.  We can say this doesn't matter, but we do miss out.  To make a difference, we need to understand others, listen to their views, and explain ours.  Through this exchange, we cannot help but be wiser, more tolerant, and better able to help others.  As a result, those who previously rejected us may say, "You know, this guy is not that bad after all!"

So where am I going with this?  Why am I writing this blog on making a difference?  Because I believe so strongly that everyone can make a difference.  No two people are alike, and at some point we all have ideas that might make a real difference to someone else.  Everyone has this potential. The shame is that too often we make decisions and take actions that make it difficult for others to listen to us.  In later blogs, I want to focus on poor decisions we all make. I've already mentioned one: reducing one's circle of friends.  It's a mistake I made.  But it's a mistake I corrected.  And the result is that I now explore my ideas with exciting people I would have otherwise never known.  I love what is happening.